Heather always feels awkward at parties. She’s quiet and shy. She never knows what to say and finds it hard to interact with people in these intimidating settings. To help her “loosen up,” she tries smoking pot before going to a party. Once there, she has a couple drinks, too. Before she knows it, there are pictures online of her doing some really embarrassing things. Did she make any new friends? No, but she sure was the life of the party!
Dave is easily intimidated by women. While his friends always seem to get a lot of dates, he finds it difficult to approach anyone while at a bar or club. To overcome this inhibition, he snorts cocaine before going out with his friends. Suddenly, he meets lots of women. In fact, he’s having sex with a different woman every weekend. Of course, the “relationships” never go anywhere. But at least he’s getting out there, right?
The rationale behind using drugs is that it “helps” you meet people and interact more. The problem, however, is that it’s a completely flawed rationale. When talking about drugs and forming relationships, the questions you need to ask yourself are:
By the time you’re tipsy enough to engage, you’re no longer in a state to develop meaningful relationships. When you’re high, you’re not exactly in the condition to have deep conversations and get to know someone.
If you’re using substances to reach a social comfort level, you’re actually escaping people, not drawing near them. You’re trying to avoid the discomfort of relationships, not connect. Continued use leads to reliance, then addiction…and this cycle does not encourage intimacy. Quite the opposite. In the end, you end up close to absolutely no one.